Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize