Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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