I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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