Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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