moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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