that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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