can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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