Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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