i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
