I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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