oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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