her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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