Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize