Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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