it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize