But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize