So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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