ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize