She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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