It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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