Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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