went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize