I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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