If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
where are my eyebrows?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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