we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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