I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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