I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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