Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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