is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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