I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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