From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
