i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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