Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
then he tried to convert me to islam
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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