I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize