the condom got lost in my hair
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize