i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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