you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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