and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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