my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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