I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
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The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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