He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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