You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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