i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize