dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
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Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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