From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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