the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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