I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize