can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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