Apparently you make a good broom.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize