Don't you send me to vm
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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